TANUJA

What happens when childhood is crystalized? Tanuja. My little cousin who will always stay little...
I was too small to notice that something was wrong with the new baby of my Maushi, but everyone else in the family was worried. I only remember her curly hair and her belly-button turned outward! Apart from that, I gathered from the faces of the elders that this baby was very delicate so I should not lift her yet.
Another year or two later, during our summer vacations- I found this child who could still not walk, or stand steady because her feet did not have enough strength. Later, as per the doctor's recommendations, she wore tiny little special shoes to right the tilt in her right foot. That was the toughest time for her parents- not knowing that their child was a 'special' case, rather, 'not wanting' to know...
Tanuja went through hundreds of tests and medications when everyone started noticing that she was not developing with the "normal" pace. Not once did she throw up tantrums about gulping obnoxious medicines or whine when she was injected for several different reasons. God has sent her programmed for the ordeal maybe!
For some years, she went to the school for 'normal' kids. Because the one gift she always has had, is that of speech. She started talking early on, and talked and talked for the whole day without stopping till she went to bed! Whenever she wanted a snack or banana- she would tell her mom, "She wants a banana!"... It took her some time to grasp the concept of "I" because everyone around her was calling her in the third person!
In our family now, a special jargon has been created- by this little girl who hardly knows how to write! Her elder sister Madhura's new name is - "Madhuulllllllla" whereas I was "Pajak-tai", now promoted to "Prajaktai". That says something about the long way we have all come from our first responses- of anxeity, of partial rejection, of rage at the unfairness of fate for this little innocent girl, of patience and acceptance, and even appreciation, finally.

If someone knows what a "contrary" child is, it's all of us who have met Tanuja. She's brilliant at music- a special gift. She's NEVER out of tune, can remember whole songs without understanding ONE word of it, and the most recent development is that she's started playing harmonium!!! (I wonder how many of the so-called "sane" human beings can do all this.... I am especially intolerent towards people who garble the texts of well known songs, not thinking that it's almost like adding red chilli powder to delicious kheer- not respecting words is a blasphemy to me.)
Well, to name another of her virtues, she's extremely enthusiastic- let a bowl of food be seen uncovered on a table, and she'll be the first one to grab a plate to cover it. If she could observe and learn such things on her own, why did she not learn alphabets and numbers? Why can't she understand colors? Why can't she button up her dress at the back?
Well, that's what I mean when I say she's the most contrary child I've seen. If you think you could talk her into eating something she doesn't like........ you're being too ambitious. If you think she cannot express herself eloquently, just wait till it's evening and she wants to go to the playground! She'll even flatter you to get her a balloon, she'll blow up too, if you are trying to dominate! :-)

My friend, a psychologist, tells me that Tanuja is Autistic. She's a gifted child, but she cannot co-relate concepts very easily. Watching Tanuja grow, I have started to appreciate and notice the so called "natural development" of children even more. When did my younger brother learn to ride a bicycle? How did a very young cousin learn the names of flowers? It did not take them years, like it does, for Tanuja to count till three... I never realized how easily they started walking and talking. Tanuja talks a lot, but it is very very seldom "original". She cannot make her own sentences. It's only good luck that she can use standard phrases used by others over and over, to communicate.

In this world, we love children, we love childhood, we cannot stop talking about our own "golden-green days" when simple things could make us happy. That's why Tanuja is so important... in a world which eulogizes childhood and cannot appreciate the joys of "growing up", only because it's a given, it's taken for granted. I love Tanuja, because the child in me feels refreshed after spending time with her. I thank life, and love myself, because I can switch roles and grow up again, I can keep growing...